All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I smell stomach acid.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize