guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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