I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
