I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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