and she was petting her beer can
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
