guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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