i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
