I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
