I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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