Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
