I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
