So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
