God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
