Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
