I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize