im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
