this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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