She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
