bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
