You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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