Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
