I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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