ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
