so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize