Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
