I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So squirting runs in the family.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize