i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
