I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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