As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
