OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize