my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
