Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
