Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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