I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
