My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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