I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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