Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
