Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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