After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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