I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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