A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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