I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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