Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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