...so i touched it.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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