i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
