WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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