Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
