im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
