Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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