I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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