don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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