he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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