the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
