smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
