Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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