She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
