is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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