i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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